Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Dialogue Of The Day

Facebook convos:
 
Brendan: Brendan's Awesome Quote #4:
responses to shu xian saying thank god: "welcome~"
 
Josephine: the extent of brendan's ego is... *shakes head sadly*
 
 
 
 
:P
 
nothing to write today, lolz.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Rant.

As the title says, it's a rant. Basically:
I am swamped with homework.
I don't understand pretty much everything the lecturer covered in Bio Olympiad. And i'm going to miss a session next week, along with chinese, econs (ZOMG IM SO SCREWED), etc subjects due to Class Camp in Pulau Ubin.
I am very distressed over the fact that i cannot apply for most things in RJ. I can't go for REACH cambridge because i only have 7A1s and not 8(the minimun requirement) and not for the A*STAR JC Science award which requires at least 8 distinctions. Everything would be solved if my chinese, either normal Chinese, Higher Chinese or both, had gotten A1 in a even more miraculous miracle that occured when i got B3 for Higher Chinese for O'lvls. Reason for it being a miracle was because i was barely passing (C5,6) all the way to O'lvls. It gets tough when you think you're somewhat normal, but then the entire school outshines you. In reference to my previous post, an example is a senior(J2) from Chorale, my section (bass), who is in a sort of accelerated class for H2 Chemistry (chem RA, raffles academy), is in the INTERNATIONAL OLYMPIAD for Chemistry (the difficulty level is atrocious), is so smart that he is exempted from Common Tests(CTs), is a Grade8 in Music Theory, has perfect pitch, and is free enough to spend the whole day with the J1s (while the other J2s were taking their CTs) and point out mistakes and go slack at Ion Orchard with the chorale gang after Saturday's performance. Oh, well.
Second point of rant: I have, due to the mountain of homework, slept little more than 2 and a half hours last night, from about 3.30am to 6.20am. Of course, as i predicted, i didn't finish my homework. So i am now officially a day behind in my schedule, and Monday being the first day of the week, more homework starts flooding in again (naturally). I supposed i have to wave goodbye tearfully to my sleep. Sleep is actually very important because the body repairs itself then and the brain sorts out information it has received during the day, or so i heard. Hence less sleep leads to unfocusedness during lessontime and the inability to store much information provided. In a nutshell, grades drop. Sigh. Maybe it's time to play less games and up my self-discipline, which is an unsurmountable task for me. Especially when Facebook sends you pings every few minutes or so, and there are tons of interestiong games on your Iphone.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

more Facebook.

Apart from the real threat of homework thst looms over me like a ledge that can topple over at any moment, the main defining factors of my life this week was basically Facebook and today's choral stuff.

You (whoever the random passerby may be) may have noticed that my blog is updated about once every week instead of regularly like once every few hours or days. Apparently not much happens in a day that allows me to update that often, and of course there is the time constraint (as mentioned earlier, the homework pile is.. um.. frightening.) and above those puny excuses, i am simply too lazy. Which also explains why 'I' is mostly 'i' if you haven't realised it yet.

About chorale today. There was a performance together with five other schools at St. Joseph's Institution(SJI, secondary school) that was supposed to help raise funds for Mercy Relief Fund to help the stricken Japanese people after the big hoo-ha that is still ongoing about the Fukushima Daiichi nuclear reactors and the tsunami. In my humble opinion, Japan is ailing, and apparently most economists agree that it never fully recovered from the 1980s financial crisis. But anw. After practicing for quite a long time, i could tell that the conductor's patience was wearing thin. And i felt that we weren't really at a performance level yet, judging by how the entire choir behaves. People generally still come late for practices. Talk during pauses during a song when the conductor (either the resident conductor or a student conductor) stops the song to solve various issues involving a section or smaller group of people. Talked and slept and took pictures during the half-hour break before our turn for the performance. I didn't do much too, and i was really disappointed with myself after the performance.
Before Raffles Chorale was Dunman Secondary(thx Paul for pointing out the error) and they sounded fabulous. And when we went on stage, the first song went sharp, the second song was too soft and lacking in dynamics, the third was fairly okay but i failed at my last two bars. I didn't breathe deep enough and my E2 (two octaves below middle E) was wavering, so i cut myself off before i killed the chord. Sigh. If i had perfect pitch, i'd probably be so depressed now because i would have known where the choir sounded off.
After the performance, the basses (me included) had a bass dinner including a few others from other sections. I have no comment, apart from the fact that it was a waste of time and money. We had to eat at Burger King because other restaurants/food court had no space at 7.30pm on a Saturday, or were far too expensive. I blew away $6.45 for the unhealthy burger and fries and drink meal and was still hungry afterwards. I'm not a health nut but when i saw the fries with a coating of salt on each individual piece of potato, i had to use my fingers to scrape some off before i ate them. Thinking about eating two days' worth of salt in a single meal is kind of scary. Hence, i avoid stuff like Macs', Burger King etc unless it's Subway, because the Subway wrap is really yummy (kudos to tortillas) although really, really expensive.
It also appeared to me that people in RJC are really out of this world.
Observation #1: Most people around the world are lame, but RJ lecturers and students are lame-r than most.
     //             #2: RJ people are weirdos. I admit i'm weird. But one guy in chorale collects and memorises   every single piece of namecard he takes. Another found splitting straws by clapping his hands around it really, really fun. (I've never known that you could split straws that way.)
     //              #3: RJ people are really, really smart. A girl the same age as me takes pretty much all the humanities subjects (Knowledge & Inquiry/KI, Geography, History etc) which require memory work. Try eating and regurgitating a years' worth of newspapers with your own thoughts added. See, my mindset that i am merely a normal person is based on facts and is solidly grounded. I am NOT an emo person. See, me getting into RJ was purely a fluke (probably because of moderation in O'lvls.)


About Facebook. I've been spending about two hours on it every single damn night since i created it because i don't know how it operates. And wasting this amount of time when your homework is pending and the deadlines are approaching fast is fatal. I have to rush out my homework today (it's 12+am now, i started this post at 11+pm) and reality hits harsh, because i know i will not be able to finish all my homework. Damnit.
Also, after the "You have been blocked from sending friend requests to strangers for 4 days because it is considered as spam" notice finally went away, i went on a frenzy to add all my friends whom Facebook labels as 'strangers' and so i'm banned again for spamming friend requests. Screw it. Once more, i cannot add people on Facebook. Applying the principles of economics which i am very weak in to this, i suppose that Facebook is a good with inelastic demand. Hence even when all sorts of problems surface while using it people still continue using it because of necessity such as group updates. And we, the consumers, just have to grin and bear it while the company behind the scenes that orchestrates the entire set gains social networks of its 500-odd million users that generate it massive profits.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Facebook.

Hallelujah. I have now officially created a Facebook account. I am a dinosaur (extinct) no more.
(Actually, i had a FB acct with a Mr Bean profile pic a long time ago when i was more childish, but i lost interest in it)
So..
Those who know me will be surprised to discover that i don't have a single picture of myself on FB. Sorry, but i don't camwhore. :) And i don't take pictures often anymore, though i used to.

Anyway, about Facebook. Signing up was quite a harrowing experience for me. (You cannot send friend requests to strangers before the next four days, ...) And said stuff in bracket poses a big problem since the main reason why i created a Facebook account was to add someone in Bio Society as a friend, get the photos she took and ID them. It turned out that i didn't have to add her as a friend to view her pics, but still the album i was supposed to take charge of along with a few others is apparently non-existent.

I actually have always wanted to created a Facebook account, but was too lazy/emo over the December period to do anytihng, and when school reopened time was not on my side. I wanted to create an account only when i would be truly free for a day (or a few hours at least) but that would never happen, and i'm pressed for a deadline for the ID thing, so i had to create the account just now. It took me about an hour and a half to create a basic profile. And the notifications were very, very annoying. Every few minutes someone will send me a message or post on my wall, and an email comes in. So i had to delete my way through tens of emails. Then i spotted the 'edit settings' button, and lfe was made a little simpler, back to the way it used to be pre-Facebook (which was a few hours ago).

I still prefer this blog over the Facebook account for now, because blog posts allow me to type much longer and lets me prattle on and on in my own personal soliloquy. So there. As for Facebook... we'll see.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Chorale Updates

All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players
-As You Like It, Shakespeare

My voice is dead. Or to be more accurate, it's alive and well after a few hours of recuperation, but after dinnertime i developed a cough. Coughs are serious issues. Take my classmate who has been coughing since Chinese New Year about a month ago. He can't do PE(physical education) effectively because when he runs he coughs; he can't concentrate well in class or do homework at a faster rate. I hope the affliction disappears soon, because i have a choral concert (a short one, with 5 other choirs performing at SJI Library) next Saturday.

I suppose it's what you would expect after an entire week of nonstop singing during what was supposed to be a week-long school holiday, all in preperation for the SYF (Singapore Youth Festival) auditions. We did that in groups, and i am very, very apologetic to my group now. Sorry guys and girls for coming in a semitone flat for my part. Which led to the entire song going a semitone flat. Sorry for not being able to sing the marcato rythm correctly. There's so much to be upset about, but dwelling on it is pointless because there's no use crying over spilt milk. I think the audition conditions simply tested my abilities to the breaking point because there's nobody to rely on; one person per section, so after drawing a quick breath, we still have to sing as a full-bodied entity. Add a hint of nervousness to that, and the song's pitch goes immensely off. At least, that was the case for my group.

My throat is tickling. I want to cough so badly, but i have to supress the urge to do so. Coughing spoils the voice.

Which makes me wonder why i am up at 2am in the morning typing out this blog post. Perhaps it is the need to vent my frustrations of the day, but inadequate sleep also ruins the voice and leads to a poor state of concentration. I should sleep.

Since this post is about choirs, i suppose that the reason why i want to get so badly into SYF is partly because of self-esteem. Being a naturally pessimistic person, i tend to have low self-esteem as well. The way my hopes were raised and then dashed at the auditions earlier on in the day- or rather yesterday- helped contribute to the feeling of being utterly useless. As though i am but a grain of sand on a beach, featureless, being pushed wherever the tides will me to go to. The feeling of being in chorale contributes to a sense of belonging, that i truly do belong to part of a greater whole and not detached and alone; that i can contribute to a beautiful sound that overwhelms the audience. Of course, in JC life SYF only comes once, and once i miss this opportunity it won't come knocking on my door ever again. I don't suppose alumni choirs or universities have SYF, do they?

Finally i have a day of rest. But yet after waking up, i have to revise three economics lecture notes, full of profound concepts both mathematical and intellectual that i have to grapple with, before even getting started on a few very, very lengthy essays and case studies that i probably cannot finish. I find it amazing how some people dismiss economics as a fun, interesting subject that is basically common sense, because to me it is a seperate world, where specialists understand each other and the typical layperson such as yours truly has trouble dicephering what exactly is going on. I feel that career paths lead to specialising, learning a specific set of jargon that only confuses people and helps to boost the ego (i know something that you don't, im smart and you're not). It's so sad to think that in this short lifetime i cannot even fully learn about a specialised field, for example molecular genetics. There is simply too much to look through, and more is being added each day at a breakneck pace. If i could live forever, i would read, and continue reading until my thirst of knowledge is quenched. (BTW, this is what led to the creation of a short essay, << The Bookkeeper>>)

Lately in most forms of media i encounter there is so much news about Japan's tsunami and the nuclear crisis it faces. Before that was the Jasmine Revolution, with the younger generation across the Middle East revolting against oppresive governments; and before that, more news about the latest issue regarding this or that. And people scramble to buy copies of the latest trendy item, the hottest gossip in town. It may be good to keep oneself updated wth current world affairs, but i feel that there is a need to draw the line somewhere. to me, there is no meaning in a life spent running around between work or school, tuition classes, enrichment programmes, gossiping and whatnot. Life soon turns into a routine that repeats itself, day by day in an endless cycle. In the midst of all the hubris around us, we must stop to think, and find a cause in life worth working towards, because only then will the emptiness be filled.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

IHC Dramafeste- Second Night

As typed above, today was IHC (Inter-House Competition) Dramafeste night. The second day, in which the results came out.

Before Dramafeste, I was in chorale practice. There was not much of note, but the random singing of Earth Song once more gave me goosebumps. Songs like these are spiritual in nature. Have you ever, after hearing a song, been so associated with the words and chords that you get this indescribable feeling? The feeling that is so intangible, that weaves a little bit of magic into your life. That, to me, is my form of spirituality. This is why I love things with a hidden message, such as plays and performances. There is this quality about them that when delved into brings about a profound sense of contentment. And before you know it, you find yourself smiling and your mood gets lifted according to whatever that is being performed that affects you, the audience. Sometimes, the performers themselves may also become the audience, and they can feel that what they are creating is changing something within themselves, ever so subtly.

I was in the audience for Dramafeste. There are five houses in RJC: according to who performed first tonight;
MT(Moor Tarbet) performing Doctor, Doctor!
MR(Morrison Richardson) performing Less Than 3
HH(Hadley Hullet) performing Toys'r'us
BB(Buckle Buckley) performing Death and His Friends
BW(Bayley Waddle) performing Ferris Wheel

I tried to rank each house myself, but it was an abysmal failure after comparision with the judges' house rankings. So i will not deign to put it up.
 A synopsis of each performance:
For MT's Doctor, Doctor!:
There are about five people in a asylum. A doctor comes in, and it is time for the daily session to try and cure their mental illnesses. One has a fetsh for hair. One is paranoid. One believes she is a cat. One has mood swings, and the fourth is phobic of germs, and is rather a know-it-all who likes the number 16 because it is a perfect square. After some hilarious moments and so on, the doctor becomes more insane with the accidental strangling of the 'cat' being the start of the inane acts. Eventually, he suceeds in getting the patients to hang themselves to relieve themselves from their mental conditions. The true doctor walks in soon after, and discovers that his patients have all died, save for the patient who thought that he was a doctor.
I felt that the script was quite well written, but the bogus doctor could have acted better. Simply shouting out his part was less impactful than acting in earnest.

For MR's Less Than Three (my house):
there were backgrounds consisting of typical chatroom colloquialisms, for example "zomg", "kthxbai", "click me!" etc. This is a performance about online dating. The setting is a chatroom.
A guy (Nay Myo) and a girl are typing to each other on the online chatroom. Their avatars representing them are of the correct gender. They get close to one another, but the appearance of a troll eventually leads to their breakup even though they already developed feelings for the other party. The performance ends with both parties meeting again, with different avatars but still of the correct gender, and they once more discover they click well together in this 'plastic world'.
The major drawback of this was that some speeches were delievered too quickly and unprecisely, so i failed to catch what was going on at times. However the progression of the online dating and the development of feelings was nicely done. Again, there was an underlying message, more than just a story about a failed online date.

For HH's Toys'R'us:
The play was about the trading of people with money. Two parents won a lucky draw and activated their babies, in the form of cardboard boxes. Some hint as to what might be coming up next was when the cashier threw a box representing a mute, autistic baby that was unwanted by the prospective mother across the stage, carrying the notion that people could be marketed as goods. The parents who won the twins were happy until the forgetful father lost a half of the twins. The mother then complained that her perfect family was ruined, and so they bought another baby as a replacement just so they could account to relatives that the twins were actually fraternal instead of identical as they originally were. Eventually the store the parents won/bought their children from delievered a letter that threatened to expose the fact that their children were unrelated, i.e. blackmailing. This leads to a massive argument between the parents and the two children pick up the letter and after some research, decide that they would rather buy themselves new parents, since children, too, could be bought and sold like commodities. In the meantime, an orphan wanted to buy herself a little brother but could only afford a toy, eventually picking one that had a recording function. The toy, called Aaron, was accidentally spoilt by the mother of the twins. The orphan wept and said that Aaron was family.
The performance ends with the unrelated 'twins' selecting which parents to buy: those on sale, of different sizes and height, so on and so forth.
I found this play quite good because it explored familial values.

For BB's Death and His Friends:
A teenager has just passed away because a car accidentally knocked him over after he ran away following an argument with his friends. At first, after meeting God (Death) and Karma (Death's assistant), he claims that he was happy to have died. Death and Karma are surprised because most of the people they met are unwilling to give up on life. The teenager goes on to meet a fellow dead person who was beaten to death by her drunk father one night. Time passes, and the teenager, who lived in an orphanage, sees his old friends and sister debating about what to throw away a month after his death. The abused dead person comments that the teenager is very lucky to have friends. One year later, the teenager's time for recarnation has come. He wants to see his friends and sister back at the orphanage once again. Now, they are more willing to throw away things that once belonged to him. The teenager grows anxious and begs them not to forget about him, professing that he forgives them, but it is already too late, and it is time for him to be reborn. The performance concludes with all his belongings being removed, even the sofa he was sitting on, leaving just him alone on an empty stage.
I found the performance quite good but the conclusion could not match up to the rest of the play.

For BW's Ferris Wheel:
two inspectors are investigating a murder case, where a loosening of the nut on the Ferris wheel caused the wheel to roll around the whole world, crushing many households and killing many people. The suspects are a pedophilic ice cream seller who hates Ferris wheels because they distracted young children form Santa Claus, Siamese twins, and a talking mime. The entire play is generally satirical and wacky with suspects being subjected to various censored methods of interrogation consisting of torture with the lack of sound for the mime, pinwheels, ice cubes, and marmalade. Why such bizzare  interrogation methods were used is beyond me. The inspectors finally convicted the girl of the Siamese twins (supposedly same gender, but not for this play) and she was hung. They then receive a letter which states that they convicted the wrong person to death, and the plot was twenty years in the making, crafted to ensure that non-believers in Santa Claus would all be killed. One inspector asks the other if she believed in Santa Claus. Her reply was no, and the other inspector also did not believe in Santa Claus. The play closed with a sinister "ho ho ho" from the ice cream seller, aka the murderer.

Judges' house rankings:
MR: 1st. I didn't expect it, but I'm glad my house won IHC  Dramafeste.
HH: second
MT: third
BB: fourth
BW: fifth

After the announcement of results, everyone had to vacate to the canteen or go home because of higher-up orders. I saw the MR crew taking a group photo, and this made me quite sad because i couldn't volunteer as i had CCA commitments. Hence as usual i became nothing more than a bystander, and quietly left them to walk to the MRT. Along the way, i realised that the sky was cloudy and really bright even though it was nighttime. The circular-shaped block in front of me looked so clear and pristine. Inadvertantly, i think that i have fallen in love with the school, its culture, its spirit. And i don't regret choosing it as my school.

Auspicium Melioris Aevi.
For the Hope of a Better Age.
Because We Are The Better Age.

It is time to work harder, so we can play hard, and maximise the short two years spent in the JC, and three years for polytechnic students, and for those working or not from Singapore as well. Because only we can discover our own untapped potential.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Poem.

Okay. In order to free up some space on my desktop I need to post this thing here. It's been lurking on my desktop for a few months now ever since an emo rainy day in December. The quality of the poem tends to the mediocre as would be expected of something done in about ten minutes and left to rot and is unedited. Also for those who get the impression that I somehow am a rather good writer i am NOT. My very first General Paper (GP) essay diagnostic test came back today. I got an E. Also the teacher's remarks were vey cursive and intelligible and so i have to consult her someday to get tips for writing. Hopefully i have the time for that.



<The Rain>

I love the rain.

Its sound comforts me
Warming and enveloping me in its kindness
Letting me sleep soundly
As I listen to the pitter-patter of raindrops
hit the ground.

I love the rain.

It paints the sky dark
And it seems as though somebody high above
Actually cares for me.
Weeping for me
While I cry into my pillow.

I love the rain.

It paints the world a monochrome colour
Everything is either black or white or everything in between
As I turn off the lights to absorb
This surreal beauty
That wraps around me.

I love the rain.

It washes away everything else
The sound of my hideous piano playing
The despair that I have fallen into
As though a lid has covered them all
And I am clean once more

I love the rain.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Update.

^ lol.

ANW:
Quote of The Day: "... We will take that into consideration."
- Team who got bombarded by lots of ideas as to how to improve on their PW(project work) presentation.
So basically, that phrase is used when you don't know how to respond to feedback. This PW group thing is actually just a random, haphazard group that was formed where people were sitting in the PW lesson. Hence the actual groups will be formed a fortnight later, after the so-called holiday next week goes by in a flash. Most JC students understand that holidays are actually not holidays at all, but a catch-up/ read-more-up session that spans from a day to a week to a month or so. I demand a real break, darnit.

As more shi- i mean opportunities present themselves to me with the passage of time, i have found that i will be getting busier. And busier. And much, much more busier.
example of my itinerary for the next few months, hastily clobbered together in the span of a few minutes:
-schoolwork
-chorale practices, twice per week
-chorale CCA CIP every Friday
-bio society every Thursday
-bio olympiad
-newspaper readings every day, starting from a three-week pile that has accumulated on my table
-various stuff to do with both CCAs outside official CCA timeslots.

Oh, yeah.
Life sucks.



p.s. no Seetoh, i will not be joining MOE Pre-U Seminar. I wanted to, but due to a combination of the fear of interviews (because i always cannot get past them) and the load i already have on my hands, I decided not to apply for it. Then there were 2 available spots left, meaning that interview or not i would have been cleared, but it was too late. So there.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Quote Of The Chorale Camp

"Excites!! :D"
- guy beside me whose name and face and blah i forgot after the station master (Kai Tsi) said that the acting President (Edward) would do whatever he wants to those who 'died' in the game.

"OPS Room. Do not enter. Go away."
- Door (of the room the committee were camping in)

"I was born when you were liquid"
- Cheryl, J3, just received results. FYI for the non-bio people, this means that when Cheryl was conceived, i.e. the sperm fertilises the egg, her poor opponent was nothing more than stuff floating around in the precursor cell. Which basically means that she pwns. And is forever young.

So anyway, chorale camp was really, really fun. We did lotsa fun stuff, lame stuff, as in all orientations, and the end was even cooler. :D
I walked into the lecture theatre form the top, and voila! There were lit candles on the floor below, forming the words 'chorale'. When everything is dark, and those candles become the only source of light apart from emergency exits, and the J2s stand in a curve around the candles and sing really heartwarming music, the goosbumps on your arms stand at attention. I nearly teared (real men don't cry :D) because it was just so beautiful. Even though the seniors screwed the end chord somewhat, their spirit and passion towards chorale shone through. This will be a moment that i treasure forever.
Slightly before that was a treasure hunt. Guys had to pair up with girls, and the pairs are given clues that eventually lead to a locker code that is used to unlock the locker. And inside will be a beautiful surprise: a chorale file of our own, and a rock, personalised, with 'Raffles Chorale' on it. I really appreciate the comms' effort put in. And even though i though they had a very lackadaisical attitude towards choir with nobody bringing files to keep the musical scores in.
I love you guys. I love choral singing. And so I will continue singing(hopefully for SYF), and as long as we exist, we will always be a unit that functions as one, and make good music for all to listen.
Auspiscium Melioris Aevi.


Notwithstanding the crazy amount of homework i have to finish by Sunday night/early Monday morning. I.e. i have one day left. Hallelujah.