Before moving on to the more emotional stuff, here's a little snippet about Biosoc.
Today we elected our new exco. And sadly enough, some people whom i really wanted to be in exco didn't make it in. That was one of the major emo moments of today, another one being that i failed my very first actual biology test (12/25). I really wonder how i went from a 80+% for tests in secondary 4 to a failing mark. I concluded that i am not working hard enough. Perhaps it's time to cut out the extraneous stuff, like my daily dose of manga and games on my phone.
Some people asked me why i didn't run for an exco position (the current biosoc chairman and the pract comm division which i've been working with). Actually, i did want to, but the procedures and the interview and my schoolwork put me off. Sigh. I felt that i was ready to lead, after filling in a 'nil' when VS choir asked the sec 3s to write what position they wanted in the comm back then. Back then, i guess i wasn't so mature as to take on so many roles. Schoolwork then was enough to make me feel suffocated already (it still does). As for now, i didn't relish the idea of having to clear an interview, because i fail interviews at a 100% rate, but what was most important was that i might not be able to cope with the growing pile of schoolwork and juggle my commitments when i already have to submit some pieces of work late. Also i felt that there were many talented people running for exco already and if i went in i'd only stand a a in 3 chance. I guess that's the bad part of low self-esteem. I really admire the 'just do it' attitude of some people, and the fact is that these people usually have more outgoing personalities. Perhaps i should have tried running for exco as well; after all there was nothing to lose. However, it isn't as easy to change one's personality as it seems. What i need is to gradually be more outgoing over the next one and a half years in my JC life, and hopefully i'll emerge a more confident person from my experiences.
After coming home, i confronted my father about the seven air-cons he was going to install in the new house. I felt that it was overly excessive when after all, fans were more than enough to cool the house. And after some tearing on my part, my father finally told me the reason behind why he was installing an air-con in a small room (2.5 x 2.5) that was going to be mostly open to the living area- he was going to retire soon. i had never known that until i pressured him just now. I suppose it just didn't occur to me to ask, and him to tell me. Something in me broke, and the tears just slowly welled up inexplicably. I guess this is what happens when you're too stressed (although i really don't think i am). I think the little heart-to-heart-talk just now improved the relation between my father and I. Communication should be far more than this, and not just a few snippets here and there, demanding money on certain days.
Today we elected our new exco. And sadly enough, some people whom i really wanted to be in exco didn't make it in. That was one of the major emo moments of today, another one being that i failed my very first actual biology test (12/25). I really wonder how i went from a 80+% for tests in secondary 4 to a failing mark. I concluded that i am not working hard enough. Perhaps it's time to cut out the extraneous stuff, like my daily dose of manga and games on my phone.
Some people asked me why i didn't run for an exco position (the current biosoc chairman and the pract comm division which i've been working with). Actually, i did want to, but the procedures and the interview and my schoolwork put me off. Sigh. I felt that i was ready to lead, after filling in a 'nil' when VS choir asked the sec 3s to write what position they wanted in the comm back then. Back then, i guess i wasn't so mature as to take on so many roles. Schoolwork then was enough to make me feel suffocated already (it still does). As for now, i didn't relish the idea of having to clear an interview, because i fail interviews at a 100% rate, but what was most important was that i might not be able to cope with the growing pile of schoolwork and juggle my commitments when i already have to submit some pieces of work late. Also i felt that there were many talented people running for exco already and if i went in i'd only stand a a in 3 chance. I guess that's the bad part of low self-esteem. I really admire the 'just do it' attitude of some people, and the fact is that these people usually have more outgoing personalities. Perhaps i should have tried running for exco as well; after all there was nothing to lose. However, it isn't as easy to change one's personality as it seems. What i need is to gradually be more outgoing over the next one and a half years in my JC life, and hopefully i'll emerge a more confident person from my experiences.
After coming home, i confronted my father about the seven air-cons he was going to install in the new house. I felt that it was overly excessive when after all, fans were more than enough to cool the house. And after some tearing on my part, my father finally told me the reason behind why he was installing an air-con in a small room (2.5 x 2.5) that was going to be mostly open to the living area- he was going to retire soon. i had never known that until i pressured him just now. I suppose it just didn't occur to me to ask, and him to tell me. Something in me broke, and the tears just slowly welled up inexplicably. I guess this is what happens when you're too stressed (although i really don't think i am). I think the little heart-to-heart-talk just now improved the relation between my father and I. Communication should be far more than this, and not just a few snippets here and there, demanding money on certain days.
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